It’s good to read criticisms of your favourite philosophy, thoughtful criticisms at least. Doug Bates who is I believe, a modern day Pyrrhonist. Has a provoking post at his substack Ataraxia or Bust.
The first thing that pricked my attention was the opening:
The Fundamental Rule [Dichotomy of Control] contains obvious common sense: some things in life you can control, but most things you cannot control. While it’s obvious when stated, somehow, many people need to have it pointed out to them. There appears to be something inherent in the human condition that leads people to believe they can control far more than they actually can. As a result, many people have benefited from adopting a narrower view of what they can control.
Now my preference is to use eph' hêmin translated as “up to us” or ”within your power” because translating it as “control”, as in The Dichotomy of Control, feeds into the problem I’ll be discussing below.
So, onwards -
The Stoic insight that some things are up to us, and some things aren’t seems like common sense. But in reality, our minds(and the cultures we grow up in) are primed to resist this distinction. That’s why spelling it out isn’t just helpful, it’s pretty much necessary.
We (humans) Overestimate Our Control
We habitually overrate our influence (overconfidence bias)—believing we can “make” people act a certain way, prevent all misfortune, or master our emotions at will. Even seasoned professionals fall prey to this. We also connect unrelated events—“I skipped my morning run and had a terrible meeting”—and convince ourselves we’re steering the ship.In the workplace, when team projects stumble, we double down on fussy oversight (micromanagement)—though good processes and clear communication often matter more.
Our Emotions Get Ahead of Us
Emotions like anger, shame, or fear often flare before reason arrives. We react first—often regretfully—and reflect later.
Moods pass between people rapidly, especially on social media. We feel like we chose to be outraged or envious—but more often we’ve been swept away. Not to mention algorithms that leverage this natural tendency.
Culture Trains Us to Look Outside Ourselves
From childhood, we’re conditioned to seek approval, wealth, beauty, and status—most of which lie beyond our control. We’re taught that happiness comes from having instead of being. Additionally, while our society might not be as rigidly role devoted as Ancient Rome, being a parent, a worker, or a citizen comes with scripted expectations. Rarely are we told we can choose how to show up in those roles, regardless of outcomes.
We Lack Mental Training
Most people never learn to examine their thoughts—to pause, assess, and redirect them. The Stoics called this attending to impressions. Without regular practices like journaling, evening reflection, or mindful pauses, we run on autopilot. We don’t see our thoughts; we are them.
Framing Creates Freedom
Stoicism’s Dichotomy of Control channels our energy into what can actually change—our choices. Not that we control them absolutely, but where we have agency. Framing or reframing can also help when attention drifts (as it always does), we can ask a simple question: Am I resisting what isn't up to me, or responding to what is?
Final Thought
The idea that some things are within our power, and others are not, is deceptively simple. But living by that truth takes daily work. Our minds resist it. Our cultures distract us from it. I suspect it wasn't much different in Ancient Greece or Rome. So I think it’s fair to say that it’s the reason why Epictetus puts it in front and centre. Not only do we need to be aware of the distinction, but we also need to train our minds to overcome our natural tendencies. That some things lie within our power and others do not isn’t mere abstraction—it’s a practical lens that helps us allocate our energy, guard against fruitless worry, and strengthen our inner freedom. Far from being too simple to matter, it’s a truth so contrary to our default instincts that we must learn and relearn it throughout life. By spelling it out, Stoicism hands us both a map and a compass for navigating the unpredictable and uncertain journey of being human.
Tip / Donation/ Appreciation
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I am also not an advocate for the term dichotomy of control. I believe, though I could be wrong, that it was first coined by Irvine. Either way, it is certainly misleading. What is up to us simply asks the question: is it my choice? The word control seems to imply that if I can master myself, I can master the world. The point is to live in accordance with nature, not to fight it. I do not think this was so much of an issue in the past. We now seem to believe, with technology, that we are masters of the universe. I think this is more a derivative of a post–Industrial Revolution, post–technological innovation world.